Are Dads Good for Society?

Of course dads are good for society. Well, good dads are good for society. They provide many different things – some intangible – to the family and thus the society. Good dads are good for society. Bad dads can be very detrimental to society. They can cause harm to their spouses and children and be a drain that ultimately needs to be amended. Just being a dad doesn’t mean you’re a good one. We have to work tremendously hard at it each day.

What are we, as a society, looking for out of dads to classify us as good? Perhaps that’s difficult to define. Aristotle noted that family is the fundamental building block of society (in so many words and in Greek for that matter). With that understanding we can see the vital role that a dad has in the society because of the vital role that a dad has in his family. The building blocks of society need good dads.

Dads provide stability. We are not leaving our wives husbandless and our children fatherless. We provide a rock upon which our family can be built. Furthermore we perpetuate this stability by instilling it into our children. Children grow up knowing their father is there and develop well because of it. There is a family cohesion that exists which is healthy. A divorce breaks up this cohesion and changes the dynamic of life for everyone. Unfortunately, children of divorced families are more likely to go through a divorce when they are married. This is unfair to the children now and later. Dads who remain the rock of the family give their sons a vision of commitment to emulate and their daughters a trait to look for in their future spouses.

As providers dads keep a roof over their families’ heads and food on the table. Sometimes we can fall through the roof ourselves. 

A dad’s providing and mom’s too remove a burden from the society to have to provide for its members. It also allows for the upkeep of roads, first responders, civil servants and all the necessities of a modern state by means of tax revenue.

Dads are educators and disciplinarians as well. There is a prevalence of young men in prison who neither had an education nor a father who taught them acceptable behavior. As a son I looked up to my father earnestly and saw the man I wanted to become, a loving, hard working, faithful man who knew when to put me in line. Perhaps later on I will provide a few anecdotes of his discipline like when he heard me say $%#^ and later on &^@# both in one night. I didn’t learn my lesson with $%#^ but I did with &^@#.

A man’s obligations and fulfillments have transcendental qualities. They go beyond a basic level. As dads we have obligations to our: selves, families, teams, jobs, friends, neighborhoods, towns, states, countries and the world. Perhaps it may not seem like that when we are on a late night run to the grocery store for milk, but a thread connects each one of these things and highlights them in varying degrees. Yes, being a dad is that common thread. Because of this truth we are called to do it well. It is our magnum opus, if you will.

We must do this humbly! Humbly, you ask. Yes. This is a great virtue for us to live and we will teach it to our children by our example. Listen to the words of Dr. Meg Meeker regarding humility. “I have known many successful men who embody extraordinary humility. They are successful professionally, intellectually, and emotionally because they understand that life is bigger than they are. Their work and their being fit into a much larger picture. Their successes not only benefit themselves – they also help those around them. A father’s humility is his gift to his [children].” By being selfless with our work we can fulfill the ultimate goal of being a dad, to love. We can give of ourselves completely and lovingly to each person in our lives. This is best example of why dads are good for society.

Recently I have found it difficult to emulate individuals who have societal success but familial failure. I wish failure on no person and know there are many factors that go into a broken family. However, we as men ought to strive to be successful in all circles of our lives knowing “that being good at the one makes [us] better at the other.” That’s LTC Hal Moore from We Were Soldiers talking about being a dad and a soldier. Our battlefield is the middle of the night with the toddler, the study session with the 10 year old, the pre-party prep with the teenager, the love we provide our children as they become parents and everything in between, before and afterward. We are good for society. I’ll see you out there.

Standby next Sunday for the beginning of a series as we feature a dad from history and see how he was as a family man and in society.